FUNNY SIDE OF BRIDGE – supplied by David Law

Completely true stories, for those who don't take their bridge too seriously, or those who do but appreciate its lighter moments.

Sitting down for a new round, exchanging system information –

Me : We play Acol

LHO : We play Precision

Me : (there being several versions) Which one?

LHO : Both of us!!

Director: Move quickly for the next round, or you'll be penalized!

Player : (aggrieved) But we're the sitting pair...

At one tournament it was discovered that 2 pairs at a table had sat in the wrong direction. As they were all seasoned players, some other players demanded to know which pair had sat wrongly. The Director replied "Both of them, otherwise one pair will be sitting on top of the other."

Near the end of one duplicate session, the Director was called and informed that one set of travellers had just no score, but the hands were recorded, and all the players who had purportedly played the hands confirmed that they had played them. It was common practice to remove travellers as the boards went out of play and score them ahead to save time. One kind soul, seeing that the last round involved a sit-out, removed the travellers after playing them and turned the cards over. At the next round, the sit-out pair, seeing that the cards had been turned over, presumed that they were new boards and promptly re-dealt and recorded the hands on new travellers.

There was a half table during one simultaneous event, so another player was found to partner the player who was there to make up the relay boards, and a club waiter was hastily recruited and taught how to do so instead. The first 3 hands were done slowly but accurately but he spent about 15 minutes struggling with the last board. He had been given the hand records and told that "the first line represented spades, the second hearts and so on". The hand contained a spade void and try as he could, he could find not enough spades to distribute according to "the first line" of each hand. (Since that incident, the Director has ensured that the full set will be made up ahead of time by someone who was not playing.)